April 26th, 2009

Just friends

Scenes from a weekend:

1) Friday night: arrive home safe, if tired, from Extensive Journeying. Greeted at door by spouse, who is holding something behind her back. Do not get hug, because whatever she's holding behind her back is... squirming.

Say, "Honey?"

Spouse says, "Don't be mad."

Spouse then produces a small black and white squirming thing that bears absolutely no resemblance to the First Dog, other than utter cuteness. In fact, it's not even a dog. Nor, despite the fact that it is white with a black face, feet, and ears, is it a Siamese cat. It has long floppy ears and a little spotted nose and it looks distinctly... disapproving.

Say, "You got a... bunny?"

Spouse says, "He's a baby Himalayan and he can be housebroken and he won't get very big and he likes people and--"

Say, "Somebody in the Department was giving them away and you've wanted a bunny since you were twelve?"

Spouse says, "Six."

Say, "What's his name?"

Spouse says, "UmTiger."

"Tiger?"

Spouse nods.

Reflect that Spouse is even cuter than the rabbit. Say, "Okay, but you have to take him for walks."



Saturday morning: Wake up early to doorbell. Open door to find itinerant monotreme co-worker bearing bagels, cream cheese, lox, capers, mysteriously decent tomatoes, red onions, mangos, strawberries.

Say "STRAWBERRIES!"

Notice calculating expression on monotreme's face as you dive upon the strawberries, still in your pajamas. Usher him into the still-half-disassembled kitchen anyway, to show off the working sink. Hand bagels and cream cheese and lox and trimmings to spouse for assembly. Mouth full of strawberries, ask monotreme "So what's the occasion?"

Monotreme, who is currently leaning over the (working!) sink sucking the leftover pulp off a mango seed with his eyes closed in bliss, takes his time finishing. "Well," he says, "I'm meeting Tasha and Keck at Catwalk, and I figured you probably wanted a day home with Spouse, but I figured the least I could do was drop by and say hi and let you know we were going."

Say, "You exist to torment me," simultaneous with Spouse saying, "I know where she keeps the guns."

Monotreme says, "Hey! Is that a bunny? Do bunnies like strawberries?"

Decide that now would be a good time to make coffee.



Saturday afternoon: Picnic in the park, complete with takeout chicken and a personal watermelon. Get a sunburn. Bliss.

Come home to your bunny.



Sunday morning: Sleep until noon.



In conclusion: best weekend ever.
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